Self Soothing and Social Media.
I know I’ve written about social media and mental health before, however it is such a pressing topic on my mind that it’s worth a re-visit! And, frankly, a few more re-visits too.
A huge way that I try to cope with stress is through social media. But, I’m not actually succeeding at self soothing. I’m actually checking out from the present moment, and letting a lot of content from the internet into my psyche that I might not actually be consenting to / that feeds the fire of my stress.
There’s a huge amount of subtext floating around on social media apps - the ‘stories underneath the stories’ - and, when we look at the state of the world, it means that all the fear, uncertainty, anger, and unowned baggage that is a part of current life is seeping into our social media content and into each other’s psychologies.
Further, we disconnect from our bodies and enter into a ‘freeze’ state when on social media - right now I’m writing this while hunched over, not breathing properly, with a clenched butt and frozen eyes. Hmmm.
Comparison culture, FOMO, bandwagoning, and reactive binary thinking thrives on these apps. Which, at least for me, are antithetical to my life intentions that I spend a heck of a lot of time / money / energy on trying to unwind in my ‘real life’ (because social media is not real life).
Emily Nagoski offers some really great education about stress and suggestions for resolving stress in her book Burnout, including:
physical activity like running, swimming, dancing (this is the single most efficient solution)
intentional breathing
positive social interactions
laughter
affection
a big ol’ cry
creative expression
… and I’m gonna add solo / partnered sex to this list!
We’re all on social for a reason, and I’m not aiming to dismiss that. Yet, I want to be contributing to a conversation that is questioning and investigating the gifts and costs of social media as we navigate self care and community care during the covid era, and I want to be contributing to a conversation of expanding our choice and awareness regarding self care.