How Connecting to Pleasure Supports the Nervous System & Aids Trauma Recovery.

When it comes to healing from trauma, we often focus on talk therapy, mindfulness, and other therapeutic practices, which are all important. But one aspect that is sometimes overlooked—yet incredibly powerful—is the role of pleasure in healing the nervous system. That is, connecting to sensory, bodily experiences that bring feelings of satisfaction, ease, pleasure, and joy—pleasures that can be as simple as feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin or as profound as sharing exquisitely pleasurable touch.

Let’s talk about what’s happening when we use pleasure to tend to our nervous systems.

1. Pleasure Calms the Nervous System

When we experience trauma, our nervous system can get stuck in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. Our body learns to expect danger, even when none is present, and this makes it hard to relax or feel safe. Pleasure, especially when it’s rooted in the body, activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the system responsible for relaxation, digestion, and recovery.

Imagine how your body feels when you slide into a warm bath, enjoy a slow, deep breath, or receive a gentle massage. These experiences tell your nervous system: “Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now.” This shift from a state of hyperarousal to one of embodied feelings of pleasurable safety is a hugely helpful tool to support the nervous system rewiring from trauma.

2. Pleasure Rewires the Brain

Our brains are incredibly adaptable—this is the magic of neuroplasticity. Trauma can change the way we think and feel, often leaving us on high alert, expecting the worst. But here’s the good news: when we focus on pleasurable sensations, we can start creating new neural pathways that lead to feelings of safety, joy, and connection.

One way to do this is by intentionally noticing the little pleasures of everyday life. Slow down and savor the way a soft blanket feels against your skin, or the taste of your favorite tea as it warms your mouth. These small moments of sensory pleasure teach your brain to notice good things, not just potential threats, and over time, they help create a more resilient, peaceful mindset.

3. Pleasure Expands Your Capacity to Cope

Trauma can narrow what’s called our window of tolerance—the space in which we can handle stress and emotions without becoming overwhelmed. This often means we get triggered more easily or feel dissociated when life gets hard. But the good news is that pleasure helps expand this window.

When you take time to experience pleasure—whether that’s through sensual touch, dancing to your favorite music, or even something as simple as stroking a pet’s fur—you’re gently increasing your ability to handle more emotions and stress without going into overdrive. You’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to relax and feel good, even when things get tough.

4. Pleasure Anchors You in the Present

Traumatic stress pulls us out of the present moment, either back into painful memories or forward into anxiety about what might happen next. Sensory pleasure helps anchor us in the here and now. It draws our awareness back into our bodies and into the present moment, which is where healing happens.

Try this: next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause for a moment and focus on a simple, sensory experience. It could be the feeling of a soft breeze on your skin, the sound of birds chirping, or the warmth of your hands clasped together. See if focusing on that experience helps ground you in the present - even just a little bit - and if it might help remind your nervous system that right now, you are safe. However, to come back to the present, we need to calibrate our sensory experiences to meet our traumatic stress with sensations that work for us in the moment. By this I mean that if you find your system is really hyperactive and fast, maybe a slowing or grounding sensation helps you come back to the present. Or, maybe a fast and bold sensation helps you come back to the present. You can read more about strategies for nervous system regulation here.

5. Pleasure Helps You Reconnect with Your Body

One of the most challenging aspects of trauma is that it can leave us feeling disconnected from our own bodies. We might feel like our body has betrayed us, or we may struggle to trust it after trauma. Reclaiming pleasure is a way of rebuilding that trust and connection.

Here’s where my work as a somatic sex educator comes into the picture. Sensual pleasure—whether through connecting with the pleasures of life, solo play, experiences with a sweetie, or sexologic bodywork—can help you rediscover your body as a source of joy and pleasure. Slow, mindful exploration of what feels good to you in a safe environment can be incredibly healing. It might be something as simple as gently massaging your hands or feet, or running your fingers lightly over your skin. Start small, and notice what feels good, and let that pleasure be a guide toward reconnection.

6. Pleasure Builds Emotional Resilience

One of the beautiful things about pleasure is that it builds emotional resilience. By regularly tuning into what feels good, you’re nurturing your nervous system and expanding your capacity to notice and enjoy feelings of pleasure, joy, and ease. This doesn’t mean life’s challenges disappear, but it does mean you’re more equipped to handle them with greater resilience and capacity.

So, here’s my question to you: what would it feel like to take even just two minutes a day to choose something pleasurable and savour it? Whether it’s through enjoying sensual touch, a delicious meal, or the feeling of warm sun on your face—what would it feel like to let pleasure be a part of your healing process? Pleasure is a powerful medicine.

Pleasure is a resource that’s abundant, freely available, and always within reach. By leaning into pleasure in ways that feel good and right, it’s my belief that you’re giving your nervous system delicious care and attention it that deserves to recover and thrive.

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If this resonates with you, and you’d like to explore deeper ways to integrate pleasure into your trauma healing journey, feel free to reach out. I’m here to support you in discovering how pleasure can be a part of your recovery and healing process.