Wanting Sex or Enjoying Sex?

Would you rather want to *want* more sex, or *enjoy* sex more?

Our culture is centred around the idea of ‘spontaneous desire’ - the kind of desire that hits like a lightning bolt, full of need and drive.

While sometimes this type of desire may show up, or for some of us may be the primary way we feel desire, it’s not the whole story.

Another important pathway to pleasure is through ‘responsive desire’ - this is the kind of desire where something juicy starts happening and *then* feelings of pleasure and enjoyment arrive.

Often when we’re feeling the effects of low libido or disinterest in sex the ‘solution’ feels like trying to make more spontaneous desire happen (which is hella hard/impossible).

One other really great (and much more achievable) path towards expanding feelings of arousal is by creating the context for responsive desire to arrive.

This is all about amplifying turn-ons (and I mean this word reaaaallly broadly) and addressing turn-offs.

Within somatic sex education we practice the tools and skills to expand pleasure, openness, and create more *context* to erotically enliven and follow pleasure, while also addressing the things that limit our feelings of arousal.

A big thank you to Emily Nagoski for these learnings.