Pleasure Your Gender!
We experience gender so many ways - through our fantasies, the clothing that we wear, the way that we present (and possibly alter) our bodies, our personalities, how we have sex with ourselves or others, how we create, play, storytell… and oh so much more.
I like to think of gender as the ‘art and storytelling of the soul’.
Sometimes we might find ourselves on autopilot with our genders. Perhaps because we’ve never given gender much thought, or perhaps we *have* but still find ourselves in a rut with how we understand and connect with our sense of self.
So! How might we take some time to pleasure and explore our gender(s)? Here are some ideas!:
borrow differently gendered clothing from friends, family, and lovers and scatter them around a quiet private space. Take 20 minutes to slowly explore them (textures, colours, fit, how they make you feel), trying on whatever catches your curiosity.
go to a public place and people watch: how are people gendering themselves? What would you like to try out, and what is juicy to enjoy about other people’s genders?
choose some porn, erotica, or other sexy content that has differently gendered folks in it, and lean into fantasies and a variety of differently gendered experiences - what shows up when you explore these fantasies in different ways?
try a sport, art form, or other skill that brings out different energies or qualities of yourself: what’s pleasurable about this different type of embodiment?
Remember!
Gender is a galaxy, and there is no rule saying you have to stay on one planet! What would happen if you embraced an inner explorer (at the pace that feels right for you!) and visited other planets - perhaps in your imagination, or for a quick stop, or for a longer and luxurious visit?
You’re at choice with your gender adventures! Some ways we like to embody our genders might be just for ourselves, or only shared with a select few people. Other ways we enjoy our genders might be *only* when *everyone* gets to see! And everything in between!
You can change your mind! Have you realized there’s a gender within yourself that doesn’t align with the way you’ve understood your gender to date? How fun! What are some ways to let this new part of you get some pleasure, joy, and time to shine?
Our genders are an important quality of what makes each of us feel seen, delicious, connected, and powerful. It’s worth taking the time to give your gender some TLC and pleasure!